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“Transylmania,” a vampire-hunter, college road trip sex comedy, has a problem: someone has drained all the laughs discover of it. It’s destined to spend a short and painful life in theaters and then join the ranks of the DVD and late-night-cable undead. IMDB
The directors king and Scott Hillenbrand, who were answerable for the National Lampoon “Dorm Daze” movies, and the screenwriters Patrick Casey and Joshua Miller (known as Worm Miller) have stuffed this cabbage with doltish and buxom students, sadistic dwarfs, severed heads, serial vomiting, sheep testicles, a priest with Tourette’s syndrome and horse flatulence. (That’s a “Young Frankenstein” homage: the horses permit loose whenever someone says the name of the Transylvanian university where the action is set.) The European vampires and the actors playing the American undergrads are both, in their own ways, long in the tooth.
The plot concerns vampire possession, mistaken identity, nonmodern sex techniques and the dangers of gathering Eastern European women online. (A tip: make sure you see her back before you acquire the form ticket.) It’s an excuse for a long series of jokes, almost none of which deliver. “Call me a nurse while you’re at it,” an impaled student tells a dishy vampire hunter.
“O.K., you’re a nurse,” she replies. That’s actually one of the funnier moments in the film, along with a truly tasteless bit involving Siegfried, Roy and a tiger puppet. Beyond that, the exclusive things to look forward to are the snippets of “Bad Moon Rising” on the soundtrack.
“Transylmania” is rated R (Under 17 requires concomitant parent or adult guardian). Female breasts and male buttocks.
Opened on Friday nationwide. Produced and directed by king and Scott Hillenbrand; written by Patrick Casey and Worm Miller; director of photography, Viorel Sergovici; altered by Dave O’Brien; production designer, Jack Cloud; released by Full Circle Releasing. In Manhattan at the AMC Empire 25, 234 West 42nd Street. Running time: 1 hour 35 minutes.
WITH: saint DeBello (Cliff), Musetta Vander (Teodora Van Sloan), Tony Denman (Newmar), Jennifer Lyons (Lynne), Oren Skoog (Rusty) and king J. Steinberg (Dean Floca).
Transylmania View Movies Online